Nicole vs. Life
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize