she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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