I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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