if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
