They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
