I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
