I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
