Me too!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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