It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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