I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
