and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
