There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize