i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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