AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
God, you're like boner-b-gone
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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