I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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