At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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