Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
