I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
