Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize