Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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