Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
