Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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