Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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