We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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