I can text with my tongue
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
