ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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