Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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