Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
