I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
