i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
