If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ttyl tear gas
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
