Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
40s are totally the cure
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
