butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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