i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Let's paint friendship bongs
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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