How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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