it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
