dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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