She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I did not marry a roomba.
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