wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
