people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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