My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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