Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How naked do you want me to be?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
