if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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