i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize