You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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