let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
