I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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