hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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