I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
