He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
