Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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