I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
