i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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