Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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