Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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