If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
