is your mom at the bar?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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