You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
