dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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