Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
