I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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