Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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