he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
a search helicopter?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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