oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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